


Game of Love

by king_gaara14



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Heartache, M/M, Romance, Sorry for the grammar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/king_gaara14/pseuds/king_gaara14
Summary: Killua loves banging every girl in their school that shows interest in him and every girl he met just like Kurapika. Then they gamble into each other, a bet that can change their lives forever, and a bet that can turn their lives upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Kurapika x Killua story. Peace everyone. :)

We happily clap our hands to the scene in front of us. Leorio has finally found his happiness, his forever, since he asks Neon's hand so that means he finally found his forever. It’s been 6 months and I know Leorio made the right choice in not letting go of Neon's hand. We are very happy for him, as his best friends we support him, them actually and wish them the best. We didn’t expect that one of these days, Leorio the Great will come on bended knees to ask someone like Neon to be him for the rest of his life. Well, let us say that, we didn’t see it coming. The way Leorio talks about Neon and the way Neon looks at Leorio, no doubt, they were destined for each other. How I wish I could also found my forever as soon as possible.

I turned into my side and see the one I’m longing to be with for the rest of my life, I wish but I know not all wishes do come true. Sometimes you just have to give it up and move on not wanting to hurt yourself even more than that someone is already hurting you. For the past seven years, I’ve been in love with that someone but sad to say, not all love is meant to be returned.

Sigh! Here I am again. I know I shouldn’t think of it but the more I told myself not to think about it, the more I long, wish and crave to be with that person. It’s awful, I know.

I feel someone is tapping on my shoulder, snapping me from my thoughts. I turned around and smile to this person who can make every flower bloom in excitement to see his face. He hugs me from behind and I can’t suppress myself from giggling.

“This is so gay,” he commented while burying his chin into the crook of my shoulder.

“Shut up,” I just said.

“So you like it?”

“You don’t really have to ask me dude,” I said while rolling my eyes to him. I love it when he hugs me like this as if we were a couple in a movie scene.

“I love it too,” he said while grinning

“Asshole” and we both laugh softly.

“Okay, so we better get going before they flip the whole island to find us.”

I nodded to him. “Gon,”

He turned to me with a sweet smile telling me that I don’t have to worry because he loves me, “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” I said sincerely while squeezing his hand.

“You don’t have to, you are my best friend and I want you to be happy. Though you wish that I am him,” he added.

We both laugh.

He’s the only person who knows me, who knows my secret that I keep for the past seven years and I’ll keep it forever. He keeps me to my feet every time I feel like I’m flowing out of my system. He keeps me from standing my ground every time I am around with that someone I am secretly in love with. Though it’s not a secret anymore since Gon and my parents already know it. He is the one I can freely talk to with when it comes to that someone and so I’m thankful with him.

We walk to the hotel hand in hand as Hanzo announces that we should have a party to celebrate the newly engaged couple. Well, Leorio said it’s not yet the engagement but if we think of that as it is then it is fine. He proposed to Neon to be with him forever, what did he think of it? Crazy bastard as always! But he is lucky to have Neon. So damn lucky!

We celebrate the beginning of their journey to forever together at the bar in which Hanzo closes it for us alone. Well, he can do that since this is his property. Drinks flooded the area and naked girls were dancing around as we danced too in the beat as wet bodies soaking and slamming against each other as they sway their bodies, hands up and jumping to the music.

I dragged my slightly tipsy body out of the circle, out of Gon’s grip in my waist to the counter. I was leaning on the counter with my nth shot of tequila in my hand I ordered from the bartender who tend to me. I love tequila, why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I can totally forget what happen and start the day tomorrow like nothing happens the other night. I grinned to myself.

“You okay?” Killua snaps me out of my thought. He grabs the stool beside me and ordered tequila too.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said. As long as my stomach can accept the alcohol, I’m fine. They know it. “What about you?”

“I’m fine wifey, don’t have to worry.” He just shrugged his shoulder. I used to him calling me his wifey and I like it. No, actually, I love it. That feeling that you float to cloud nine because of that, that’s exactly how I feel.

“Okay,” I just said.

We both ordered two more shots of tequila while talking about anything under the moonlight. It has been years since I’ve talk to him like this. I really miss him. Though we usually hanged out together but this kind of moment when we are both alone and we are just talking anything and nonsense somehow fill in a big hole in my heart. How I miss his smile, his infectious laugh, his cool and sweet gestures, and everything about him that I only leaned into him while listening to him talk nonstop.

“Hey,”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Are you sure? I can bring you to your room if you want.” He said, it’s not the usual him since he didn’t want to take care of me when I’m drunk because I don’t want him too. He’s a freak.

“I’m fine dude,” I let out a soft chuckle.

He holds me in my waist, afraid that I’ll slide down on the floor. “Kurapika, c’mon I’ll bring you to your room.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re drunk,” he said

I look at him while narrowing my eyes. I can’t believe he’s doing this. “Are you sure?” and he grinned.

“I’m already sleepy,” he said. We both laugh at that. So he wants to bring me with him so he can slips from here. Smartass!

He wraps his arm around my waist and I wrap mine around his shoulder and we slowly slip away from the party and go to the elevator. We are already drunk to climb up the stairs so we better take the elevator.

I leaned on the elevator wall to keep myself from falling. The whole room is already spinning around that make my headache worsen. If Gon is here, I’m sure he wouldn’t let me leaned in this cold wall. I let out a sigh.

_Ding!_

The moment the elevator door opens, we both hurried out of the elevator and into our rooms. Killua still holding me in my waist and keeping me near to his body and my heart started to pound like a drum. I let out another silent sigh to relax myself. Slowly inhale and exhale to calm down my pounding heart. Maybe the alcohol has finally taken its toll on me. We sway side by side and walk like a cat in zigzag pattern.

“I’m here,” I announce

He motioned me to open the door and so I open it slowly with my head already leaning on the wooden door. The moment the doors lock click open, Killua kick it and he pushed me inside.

“Hey, relax.” I said

“Let me sleep here,” he said then dives face down into my bed.

I just watch him while he adjusts himself in a comfortable position. I always share a bed with any of the gang but this is the first time that I will share it with Killua, usually its Gon or Leorio but not Gon because before we know it he was already gone and sleep with the girl he meet at the bar or the party.

I walk closer to him and started to remove his shoes and pushed him at the center of the bed to make room for me.

“Undress me,” he mumbles

“You undress yourself, asshole.” I whisper into his ear.

“Fuck dude, please undress me, I’m sleepy. I can’t sleep comfortably with my clothes on,” He beg

“Beg a little harder Zoldeyck,” I teased him

He didn’t reply instead he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into him. I was shocked thus making me outbalance and crush into him. My eyes widen when our lips brush into each other so I pushed myself away from him. Shit! Did he know what he just did to me?

“What’s wrong with you?” he whined

I swallow the large lump that’s forming in my throat, “What’s wrong with you,” I repeated.

He rose from the bed and look over to me who was at the feet of the bed. “Come here,” he motioned his hand to me to come closer to him.

F _uck you Zoldeyck_ , I wanted to shout but something inside me is telling me to comply with what he wants so I stand up and walk towards him. “What now?” I ask when I’m an arm length from him.

“Closer Pika,” he orders so I get closer to him. “Kiss me,”

My eyes grow wider the moment those words come out from his mouth. I know Killua from head to toe. I know he loves to bang every girl he meet and those girls who flirted with him and he is fucking straight, so what is this all about?

“Are you crazy?” the only word came out from my mouth and the jerk just laughed loudly as he rolls into the bed holding his stomach. “Fuck you!”

“I’m sorry,” he said while still laughing his lungs out.

I just pouted into his way. I slump my body into the bed then rolls into my side while covering my head with the pillow.

He shakes me in my back but I didn’t speak, “Hey, I’m sorry.”

I just keep my silence as he begs me to speak with him. I just don’t want to talk to him. He fucking pulls a prank on me, he knows that I don’t like it when someone pulls a prank on me and he still did it.

“As if we haven’t kissed?”

I know what is he talking about and I don’t want to remember that moment which made my life a miserable one. Which made me want to repeat that night and erase everything that happens and maybe I could leave peacefully without that stupid moment flashing in my brain every time I think about him and made me hate my own birth date.

"Kurapika,”

“What?!”

“I’m sorry,”

“You fucking kiss me ‘again’,” I air-quoted the word for emphasis, “What do you want me to say?”

“It’s an accident, I didn’t mean it.”

 _That’s the problem, you didn’t mean it._ I wanted to tell him but I suppress myself from doing so, “Sleep Killua, your drunk.” instead I said. Then I roll my back to him.

I can feel the bed lowered indicating that he is already in his side. “Kurapika,” he called my name again.

“What Killua?”

He leaned closer at my back and then snake his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him then snuggles in my nape. “Goodnight wifey,” he mumbles and I just hummed my reply. Later on, his breathing becomes stable but he was still back hugging me like his life depends on me.

Maybe tomorrow we can forget everything that happens tonight. Maybe he can but not me. He kissed me and he didn’t mean it. How can I forget about it when I want him to mean it because it means a lot to me? I didn’t know why but my tears just started to fall like a defective faucet. I hate this.


	2. Chapter 2

The ride back home was the most uncomfortable one ever. I am with Killua in his car since Gon joined in Hanzo's car so we are all alone in his car. I wanted to swap with Hanzo but I don’t want to give Killua the idea that I am avoiding him because of what happen last night. Besides, Gon wants to be with Hanzo and refuses anyone to join them. Well, Gon is kinda interested in talking with Hanzo about his adventure in which Gon is planning to do the same as he was bored. I silently cursed Gon for doing this to me, for leaving me. He knows that I need him as much as I need the air but he still betrays me and left me alone with this asshole.

“Are you okay?” I just hummed my answer.

“You don’t look like you’re fine, what’s the matter? Huh?”

“I— I’m fine,” “Do you want us to park for a while?”

“No!” I literally shouted that causes him to step on the brake hardly making me kiss the dash board. I hissed from the pain, “What’s wrong with you!?”

“You yell at me, I just panic.” He reason out.

I just hissed when I touched my nose and feel the small bump at the bridge. Killua reaches out my nose but I flinched before he can touch me.

“I’m sorry, does it hurt?”

“Really? Asking the obvious?” I sarcastically ask him back. He just raised his eye brows to me,

“What’s the problem dude? You are acting like there is something weird happened last night and you keep on avoiding me.” So he didn’t remember that thing? I thought.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I said defiantly

“Then why are you acting weird?”

“I’m not acting weird,”

“Of course you are just like what you did this morning.”

“What’s with that?”

“What’s with that? You just pushed me away from the bed the moment you woke up. How was that?”

Yeah, I did. I remember what happen. I did push him because he hugs me and our faces are relatively near into each other that I can breathe in his scent. If I didn’t push him maybe I did things I know I will regret after so it’s better that way than imprisoning myself from guilt and anything.

“Isn’t it because of that kiss?” Heat crawled up into my face and I feel like I’m on fire the moment he mention that incident last night. Shit! I turned my face outside the window to cover my embarrassment. It feels so awkward.

“Where did it coming from? Huh?” I ask.

“Because ever since that happened you’re acting like this,”

“Shut up! I didn’t even think of that.” I swallow hard after those words slips from my mouth. Really? Not thinking of that? Yeah, congrats Kurapika for lying so stupidly. I mentally slapped myself.

“You know that you are a fucking terrible in lying, right?” he said and it makes me fall to silent. This is so awkward. “Then why?”

“I’m just tired Killua,” even the taste of his name in my mouth becomes bitter.

“Okay.” He mutters in defeat with a sigh. “I’m sorry,” He opens the compartment of the car in front of me then pulled out a band aid and gives it to me.

I get it from his hand and slightly frozen when our skin brushes into each other but he didn’t realize it since he swatted his hands away from me as soon as the band aid is in my grip already. I hummed my thanks to him and started to put on the band aid while he pulled the car away from the shouldering and started to drive out on the road again. I tried to calm down myself when my heart started to pound hurtfully from my chest while we are on the road. I was thinking so much, maybe I am since I can see that he didn’t even flinch about that incident last night. Sigh. We were driving in silence when he break it after a while.

“Hey Pika,”

“Yeah?” I turned to look at him, confused.

“Let’s have a bet,” he said, “Just for fun,” then he added.

“Bet for what?” its making me more confused

“Let’s bet on how many girls we can have in bed within 24 hours, the more girls you can, the more chances of winning,” he grinned. Slightly confused, I just raised my eyebrows more to him, “C’mon, this is fun.”

“That’s crazy,” I just muttered.

“Nah! It’s fun.”

“Oh,”

“C’mon. It’s not like we aren’t doing it normally, the thing is we can have something to look forward to it after having fun in bed,” he grinned and I chuckled.

Yeah. They think I also banged every girl I met in the bar just like this bastard beside me. But, I haven’t touched any girl since I was 15. I just pretended to fall asleep the moment we enters the hotel room or motel or any room which we can lay and that’s how it goes for 6 years now. No one knows even Gon. That’s a secret I kept hidden in the deepest core of my being.

“C’mon,” he convinced me again.

“O-kay?” I agreed despite the fact that I’m not into that stupid idea, “Then what?”

“What do you want to bet?”

“What do you want?” I asked him back.

“Hmm, what about if one of us wins, he can have whatever he wants?”

“Sounds great,”

“Then it’s a deal.” He said while grinning, “Let’s start the moment we step on York Shin,” he added and I just nodded.

This is crazy but in some point I find it great. If I won I can have whatever I want, yeah, so that was great right? I’ll just have to win. But knowing Killua, he didn’t want to lose it so I have to tried harder and do my best.

 

**********

 

We arrive at the capital of York Shin at exactly quarter to 8 in the evening. My stomach is now growling like a hungry tiger.

“Want to grab something to eat first?” Killua turned to me with concern look.

“Nah, I just wanted to sleep. I’m kinda tired.” I just answer him while yawning. I’m not lying, I am really tired.

He just nodded and then drives to the familiar route towards my house. He will just drop me and then proceeded to his business after. I know because he told me. He will be meeting a girl who keeps on asking him to date her when we are still at the resort. I won’t be wondering if he will text me later saying he got one in the bed. Yeah, typical Killua Zoldeyck.

“Aren’t you going inside?” I ask him while I’m fumbling to pull the seat belt off my body.

“I’ll just crash there tomorrow evening,” he said

“Ok, see you tomorrow then.”

“Remember the bet,” he reminds me the moment I step out of the car.

“Yeah,”

“Let’s conclude tomorrow at 8PM,” he said after he takes a look on his watch. “I’ll crash there as in, in flesh.” He said.

I just nodded and mouthed ‘Good luck’ to him. He bid his goodbye to me then drove away from me. I just watch as his car’s light disappears from my sight before I let out a sigh that I don’t realize I’m holding. What did I gotten myself into? I know he will win even before this bet has begins; despite of that fact I still wanted to challenge myself to try my luck.

 

********

 

I walk into the small gate and enter my parents’ property. The two stories Whitehouse like mansion was standing at the center of the large lawn, approximately 50 meters away from the main gate of the Kuruta property. My sleepy head state isn’t really helping me to walk that long but I still did. I was greeted by the butler and two maids at the entrance of the house. They’re always standing there as my mom wanted them to greet every person walk into the entrance of the mansion. I greeted them back.

“Are they home?” I ask

“No young master, I remember the Lady told us that they will be having a business trip to Lukso until next weekend.” Peter, the butler, replied.

I just nodded then proceeded to the stairs leading to the second floor where my room is located.

“Have you eaten your dinner, young master?” Peter asks me, stopping me from ascending up the stairs.

“Nope but I’m not in the mood to eat so just save it for tomorrow.” I answer him before I yawn and then climb up the stairs after I bid my goodbyes to them.

I immediately inserted the key at the key hole then kick the door open after the lock click open. I walk like a zombie until I found my king size bed and dive into it. I didn’t bother to undress myself; nobody will come and check on me after all so I just pulled the silky duvet to cover my body while the air-con is blowing like I am at the center of the North Pole. I drifted off to sleep and visit the dreamland I created the moment my eyes close.


	3. Chapter 3

I smile when I saw my knight in shining armor leaning on his Chevy Corvette. He was wearing white tee under his gray hooded jacket, dark blue ripped jeans and red converse in his feet. He is gorgeous and how I wish I fall for him instead of that someone but knowing heart, he had his own mind. He invited me to crash the new pizza parlor downtown which owned by a friend from Whale Island. This is my first time meeting his other friends aside from us and aside from that I really love pizza’s, that’s why I said yes.

“Done checking on me?” he teases me.

“What? Am I not allowed to check on the gorgeous human being in front of me?” I playfully wink at him.

He just chuckle and motion me to get in the passenger’s seat. I immediately complied and buckled up that moment I enter his car and lock the door in my side. We started to drive towards downtown.

“You didn’t invite the gang?”

“I did. Leorio and Neon have dinner date with the old folks, Hanzo was dragged by the queen to the opening of her foundation, Melody, Kite and Pitou wanted to sleep while Killua, Hisoka and Illumi gone partying.” I just nodded.

Killua is in the party. I repeated.

“Party?”

“Yeah, Palm invited the gang to her dog’s first birthday party.”

Palm Siberia. She’s a model of lingerie. I don’t like her because she’s a flirt and she like to flirt with Killua specifically, one of the reasons why I don’t like her. Yeah, absolutely.

“Oh,” I just said.

The ride downtown was kinda comfortably silent. Gon was just focusing his attention on the road and I was scrolling on my phone. Every one hour I received a picture or video from Killua and even though I hate checking it I still did and let it stay in my gallery for just today. Later tonight, our bet will commend and I can finally delete those images and videos. I wonder what will happen tonight.

“We’re here,” Gon enthusiastically announces and I just jump in my seat in excitement. I love pizza that’s why Gon brought me here.

After parking the car, we excitedly enter the parlor. The smell was amazing and I can hear my stomach already growling in excitement.

“Gon!” a girl with red ribbon atop her head greeted us. She was wearing the shop’s uniform so I guess she’s a crew in here. She’s beautiful and cute in 5’8, no, 5’6 since she’s wearing high heels. Her brown hair was braided in Rapunzel style. And I can say that, she has the body. Gorgeous! What? It doesn’t mean I’m gay I cannot appreciate gorgeous ladies in front of me and I can still have boner when I wanted to.

“Biscuit,” they hug each other. Very sweet.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you come here.” She giggles like five years old. Gon chuckle to that,

“You told me you want me here, so I’m here.” Which she giggles more. “Anyway, this is Kurapika my best friend.”

“Hi,” I said and stretch my hand to her which she immediately grabs and shakes my hand. She flirty smiles at me and squeezes my hand like she wanted to convey something with that gesture. I just smiled at her.

“Come,” She guided Gon at the last table at the right wing of the parlor with me in tow.

Of course, if he doesn’t want a purple circle around his eyes, he must not leave me alone, again or else I’m gonna castrate him. We settled at our table and wait for the girl who fetch us something to eat as she said a while ago before finally turning her back to us and wink to me.

“Who was that?”

“Biscuit, dad's best friend and partner in crimes, she own the place.”

“Ah, I thought she’s a crew here.” Gon just smile at me.

He surprises me when he grabs my hand under the table and intertwines his fingers into mine. His warmth travel into my system and it made me grin from ear to ear and we stayed like that for a moment. Later on, Biscuit comes back with two waiters in tow. They bring us a large circle of pizza and I literally clap my hands together when the waiters put down all the foods and drinks in our table.

“Uhm, I guess this is too much.” Gon nudges into the girl for bringing the large circle of pizza in our table.

“Nah, just enjoy it. Besides, it’s my treat.” She grinned and I grin too. We will be best friend in an instant for sure if we’re given a chance. After the small talk, she left us to tend to the other costumer. We started to eat our pizza and talk everything we think of under the sun.

“Your birthday is coming, what is your plan?” he asks after he bites his third slice of pizza.

I bite my bottom lip when I heard his question while the glass I’m holding was half way to my mouth. It’s been a while since I celebrated my birthday. It’s been seven years to be exact. They know the reason and they didn’t tried anything to make me change my mind, even my parents didn’t do anything about it though we celebrated it week before or after but not on the exact date.

_Today I turned 14 and I am excited. I was the sixth one in the gang that turned 14 this year and all of them go to Hanzo's, Leorio's, Pairo's and Killua's birthday so I’m hoping that they will be here too. I already called my friends yesterday and all of them confirmed that they will be here. It is almost 7 in the evening so I excitedly waiting for them at the entrance of the mansion where my birthday is being held. There’s a lot of cars arrive at the parking but no one from my friends already arrived. I let out a sigh. There’s no way they can’t go here. They already confirmed. My eyes get wider and my lip curls up into a smile when I saw Blake’s family limo entering the main gate. I run to welcome their arrival as the valet opens the door for his masters to step out of the car._

_“Hi Kurapika,” Kikyo, Killua’s mom greeted me and kiss me in both of my cheeks, “Happy birthday honey,”_

_“Thanks mom,” (the gang called each other's parent's moms and dads.)_

_“Happy birthday young man,” Silva, Killua’s father also greeted me and I nodded to him with a smile._

_“Thanks dad,”_

_I motion one of our maids to escort them into the mansion with their valet who bring my gift in tow. Where’s Killua? My shoulder drops low when I didn’t see him step out of the car. Didn’t he coming? The gang's family limo arrived but no one among my friends step out of the car just like their parents did. I was upset. They are not coming. I’m sure. Suck them. I let out a sigh. When the hand of my wrist watch turned to 9 in the evening, I decided to step inside the house and into my room. My parents are there to entertain the guests. Those are their friends anyway. They went there for them and not for me so why bother to entertain those old folks. I balled myself under the duvet of my bed. I hate them. They don’t really love me and they’re calling themselves my best friends. Suck them! I won’t talk to them until the day I die. Who are they anyway? They’re not my friends anymore._

 

_Another day without you with me_

_Is like a blade that cuts right through me_

_But I can wait I can wait forever_

_When you call my heart stops beating_

_When you're gone it won't stop bleeding_

_But I can wait I can wait forever_

 

_I started to close my eyes to sleep when my phone rings. It was the tone I set for Pairo’s contact so I know it’s him. Did he call to say he’s sorry for not coming here? Fuck him! I ignored the call until it rings again and again then faded out of my room. I ignored Leorios’s call too. Then Killua’s and Hanzo’s call too. What did they want? Did they call just to laugh at me? As if I care. Yeah, thunder strikes them and I don’t care._

 

 

_Cause when I look inside my heart_

_And I tell the truth to me_

_Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty_

_I need the fire, fire, fire to keep me warm_

_I got to feel the fire_

 

_It was Killua’s. I ignored the first ring but the second ring brings my heart to skip a beat. I don’t know why so I just ignored it again until it rings again then fade and followed with a message notification. I pick up my phone at the night stand and started to scroll my phone for the new message. Killua’s smiling face appears in the message button. So he did send me a message. I immediately open it and read his message._

_KZ: Hey dude, pick it up. I have something to tell you. xoxo_

_“Tsk! What did this bastard wants?” I let out a sigh then wait for him to call again. I waited for a few seconds before my cellphone rings again. I wanted to reject the call but I push the wrong button so I just listen to this asshole._

_"Hey Pika,"_ _He said but I didn’t greet back. “Can you come into my house? I have something to show you.”_

_“What?” I curiously ask._

_“C’mon, don’t be stubborn. I need you to be here at 10,”_

_“PM?”_

_“Minutes dude. C’mon,” he said._

_I_ _just rolled my eyes._ _I don’t want to but my body betrays me. I found myself dragging my feet at the parking and hop in to my car that was parked near the exit of the parking area so I don’t have to worry about the other cars parked in there._

And until now, I wanted to smack myself very hard. I regret everything about that night. I started to shake my head to bring my mind in the present time. I hate to admit it but, that was the most wonderful birthday I have though I want to forget it.

“Same as last year,” I told him.

“Kurapika,”

“No, and you know why.” I feel like this topic is burning the core of my heart.

I put the glass I’m holding at the table with a loud thud that made the other costumer around us look at our direction. He knows exactly what happen that night because I told him.

Gon gave them an apologetic smile and bow before turning to me, “How long are you planning to hate your own birthday because of that?”

“Until he is out of my life and you know what? He doesn’t have planned to leave me alone.” I told him and sip half glass of my coke in one go.

“Kurapika,”

“He kissed me again last night,” I told him nonchalantly.

“What?!”

“See? That’s what I’m telling you.”

He let out a sigh. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” of course, what should I do?

He let out another sigh and then shakes his head in disbelief. I didn’t do anything aside from yelling at him and standing on my ground that I am disgusted with that kiss where the truth is, my mind drifted to cloud nine the moment his soft lips touches mine. I let out a silent sigh. Gon doesn’t have to know about that feeling I wanted to forget every time I think about him or every time he visit me in my dream.

We stayed in silent while eating our last piece of pizza. I can’t believe we munch all the large pizza alone. I burp after I shove the last drop of coke in my throat. We are good to go home. Gon bid his goodbye to Biscuit after he kissed her cheeks. Biscuit gave us 2 boxes of pizza for the old folks, she said. We just smile and got to the car and drove back to my house where he fetched me.

“Can I ask something?” I nudge him. He just hummed his answer. He still focuses his attention to the road.

“Do you like me?” He turned his head to me then back to the road.

“Why’d you ask?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged my shoulder to him, “Do you?”

“What if I said yes?” I turned 360 degrees to face him with my eyes wide open. I know that he is just kidding but of course as gay as I am, I just wanted to see if he can pull that joke very well in front of me. “You know what, he don’t deserve you. You deserve someone who can return what you have for him and not someone like him,”

“Yeah I know.” I said releasing the air from my lungs.

“I like you,” he said without looking at me. “And I don’t want you to be with him. He’s an asshole, we both know that.” Is he serious? “Yes I am,”

“I hate it when you’re pulling on me like that,” I whimper.

“Okay, let me rephrase my statement, I love you and you know that.”

“That’s more confusing.” I know Gon from head to toe and even if I’m a girl, I’m not his type.

“I know,” and we both grin.

“Anyway, try to move on, okay?” he said, “I care for you so much, you’re my older brother remember? And I don’t want you to keep hurting yourself. An asshole will always be an asshole.”

“Big brother my ass, you are just 3 months younger than me,” I whined.

“But still I’m younger, don’t be an ass and call me younger brother already.” I flicked my tongue and he just laughed. “And I care for you a lot,”

“I know, thanks dude,” I just said and tap his shoulder. He just nods his head in agreement to me.

“Get out before I kick your ass out here,” he added. I just pouted and open the passenger’s side door.

“Thanks for the pizza date Mr. Freecss.” I said before exiting his car.

“Bye Mr. Kurta,”

“Bye, see you tomorrow.” I just waited for his car to finally exit the mansion’s gate before I step inside. I check my wrist watch, its quarter before 8. Killua will be here by 8 so I have 15 minutes to prepare before he will be here.

Sigh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to clarify, uhm, the gang which I composed were Leorio, the one that was engage to Neon, then Kurapika, the narrator, Killua, the palyboy and Gon, the one that Kurapika is closest with. Uhm, I assumed that the Kuruta family was still intact I mean, no talking of dead people and Pairo, Hanzo, Melody and Kite were also their best friends. And then, they have the same age, meaning all of them were 21 y/o in here.


	4. Chapter 4

_I bid my good bye to the guard on duty at the main gate and headed to Killua’s house. That’s 2-3 kilometers from my house. Along the way, I started to scroll for the new messages from my friends but I found nothing so I just turn my phone off._

_I inhale and exhale before I hit the horn of my car indicating that I already arrive at the Zoldeyck mansion’s main gate.  The guard opens the gate and I drove my car into the parking area. I release another bulk of air from my lungs and tried to calm myself before deciding to step out of the car. The main door opens and I was greeted by Gotoh, the family’s butler._

_“Good evening young master Kurapika,”_

_“Good evening too. I’m here for Killua, is he home?” though I know that he is home since he wants me here, I just wanted to double check it._

_“Yes, he is in his room waiting for you.” he said and I just nodded._

_I dragged my feet and climbs up the stairs to the second floor where Killua’s room was located. My heart started to pound like a gong which was repeated thrice. I hold my chest to calm myself but it pounds harder the more I told myself to calm down._

_I swallow hard when I reach Killua’s room door. I slowly inhale and exhale before I knock on the door._

_“Come in,” he called from inside._

_I twisted the door knob and open it wide._

_“Pika, wait!” he run towards the door before I could enter, “Wear this first,”_

_I look over to his hand that’s holding a handkerchief which folded vertically. I raised my eyebrows. He knows I hate surprises just like Leorio._

_“C’mon, don’t ruin the fun.” He just said while grinning into me._

_“I hate this, you know that.”_

_“Just this once, please.” He begs with his puppy eyes that sure make my heart melt._

_When I didn’t move, he come closer to me and then strides into my back. He slowly put the folded handkerchief into my head then covers my eyes. He ties it at the back of my head and then taps my shoulder._

_“Ready?” he whispers into my ear that sends shivers into my spine down into my toes and made my heart pound loudly that threatened to get out of my chest soon. I inhale and exhale silently to calm down myself at the same time ignore that Killua’s hands were now wrapping around my waist._

_Damn this stupid feeling!_

_“Move,” he slowly pushes me forward. I’m scared but I choose to trust him. I know killua won’t do anything that could hurt me. After all, we are best friends._

_We continue walking until I feel the cold air brushing into my bare skin. I shiver. I don’t know where we are but I didn’t ask instead, I just keep my mouth shut. We continue walking until he holds me tight to stop me from walking._

_“Can I remove it now?” I was referring to the blind fold. I’m kinda impatient._

_“Not now. I’ll tell you when its time.” He said then gone silent. I tried to find him beside me but I can’t touch him. I panic so I called him loudly. “Sshh,” He said. He grabs my hand and then put both my hands at his shoulder. He put his hands in my waist._

_“W-what are we doing?”_

_He didn’t response but I heard him slowly humming my favorite song. It’s Air Supply’s Lost In Love. Yeah, you know why I love that song but he didn’t have to know the reason behind._

_“Wrong,” when he didn’t hit the right word in the lyrics while giggling._

_“Sorry, I just learn the song lately.” He said while chuckling softly. “Let’s dance.” He said then started to sway us side by side._

_“Why are you learning that song?” I asked curiously._

_“For this,” he just said, “For you.” then he added which makes me smile._

The knock on my door pulled me out of my thought and drifted me to reality. I let the air run through my lungs and release it slowly. Someone knock on my door again.

 

“Pika?” it was Killua and how I hated him for calling me such name.

 

I panic a little. Shit, his here and this gonna be a torturous night for me. “Come in,” I shouted to him.

 

I saw the knob turned and the door open. “Hey,” he greeted me when he saw me lying on my bed with my head leaning against the headrest. He was wearing a black leather jacket covering the white t-shirt inside and black jeans then shoes in black and white pattern. He was simply oozing hotness in that attire of him. Simple yet dangerously gorgeous.

 

I smile at him. He dive into my bed and crawl next to me. He imitates me and leans on the headrest and slowly had his head in my shoulder.

 

“Hey,” I greeted back

 

“Tired?” he chuckle and I just nodded.

 

“What about you?”

 

“Tired too. Hanzo didn’t let me slip away until I beg him to.” He softly laughs while talking about the party they attended early this night.

 

I laughed with him. We know Hanzo, if Killua and I are party monsters, Hanzo is what we called the god of party monsters.

 

“So I guess Palm scored in you huh?” I teased.

 

“Shit! I keep on running away from her the whole afternoon.” He said with a hint of disgust and we both laughed.

 

And we both fell into silence.

 

“So?” he cut it with excitement filled his words with his eyes twinkling like I am watching over the galaxy. “Phone,” he said, extending his hand to me like a gangster asking for his money to a mere peasant.

 

I stretch my hand and reach my phone at the night stand. This is the rule, every girl we have sex we must take photo or video then send to each so we can have proof that we really have fucked those girls.

 

He takes my phone and I take his. He open mine without even asking for my password while I got his phone blocked since I didn’t know his password.

 

“Why didn’t you change your password? It’s been ages since you got this one,” he teases me. “069715, I wonder what does it mean,”

 

I just smile at him. Of course he didn’t have to know that his fucking birthday is my passcode for almost 7 years now.

 

“Fuck!” I cursed under my breath before I handed him his phone, “Open your fucking phone if you don’t want me to throw it outside the window,” I said to him and he just laugh softly. The laugh he only has when he is with me. Shit! What am I thinking? Sigh!

 

“Until now, you can’t still open my damn phone,” he teases me. I look over to his iPhone. I mouthed him ‘Fuck you’ and he just shake his head. “Figure it out Pika,”

 

“WTF?!”

 

“C’mon,”

 

I open his phone once again but I can’t crack his damn passcode. I click and click until the screen blackout. “Shit,” I murmured. What is wrong with him? Argh!

 

“Pika, stop molesting my damn phone.”

 

“You shouldn’t create a damn password I couldn’t crack,” I know all the other’s password but not him. He didn’t want us to know.

 

“KA0497K” he said and I started to type the password and it opens.

 

“It’s your locker’s combination too,”

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Meaning?”

 

“Figure it out,” he grinned and I just shake my head. Yeah, figure your ass.

 

I started to scroll on his phone. He had our picture in his home screen. That’s when the Soccer Team brings home the Grand Slam Trophy for the 3rd time. We are standing side by side and he is wearing my jersey while I wear his too. We have our arms wrapped around each other’s shoulder. Happiness painted in our faces as we grinned to the camera. We have the same home screen picture. I open his message when a notification shows at the top of his phone. _Damn passcode!_ I didn’t bother to open it and just go to his gallery. He has another passcode on his gallery so I shove his phone in front of him.

 

“Same.”

 

I type the letters. He got a weird passcode. I shake my head once again in disbelief. I started scrolling in his gallery and counted the images and videos in there.

 

“24?!” I literally exclaimed. Great! I look like I banged girls every damn hour. The fucker just widens his eyes to me.

 

“Wow!” he said. “While I just picked 12 girls, you pick up like you own a goddamn prostitutes house,” he said. I don’t know but I heard something in his voice. _Disappointment?_

 

“So, it means I won?”

 

“Hell yeah,” he just said. Did he want me to win at the first place? “Of course not,” he said and I turn 90 degrees to face him with my eyes wide open. “Heard about thinking out loud?” he smirks.

 

I pouted.

 

“I didn’t know that you are more of a sex animal than I am,” he grinned which earns a smack from me. “Ouch!” he rubs his head as if he was hurt.  “So, what do you want?” he slides down until he is lying on my lap again.

 

My breath hitched into my throat, snapping my will to speak. I release the air from my lungs that I didn’t know I’m holding.

 

“C-can I think about it first and just let you know if I already had in mind?” I winced into him. I look at him and the lose strands of my hair covered my face.

 

He reaches those strands and tucks it in my ear. I swallow the large lump building in my throat as I shiver into his touch. I unconsciously bite my bottom lip when our gaze met as his hand travel into my cheek, grouping it and sensually caresses the side of it with his thumb.

 

He slowly lifts his head, leveling with mine without breaking our gazes. His eyes traveled down to my lips and I release a shaky breath. The way he looks at me sends me into overdrive, into the oblivion, into the heaven and back.

 

I bite my lips nervously. I wanted to reach for him and touch every part of him but I know that that will cause me trouble big time if I did. I know Killua from head to toe. We’ve been together for two decades and I know that he is just teasing me. If I give in, he will just laugh his ass out. See? I know him. I really am. So there’s no need to test the water when I already know how it feels beneath my palm.

 

But… did I really know him?

 

He slowly leaned into me while I leaned backward until the back of my head hit the headrest. I have nowhere to run, he caught me. I swallow my own saliva which threatening to choke me anytime soon.

 

The moment his lips touches mine, I gave in. I close my eyes and wait for him to do what he wanted to do. He always wins when it comes to this battle and I am just a willing victim, surrendering without even trying to fight.

 

What surprise me is he didn’t pulled first this time and laugh his heart out just like he usually do instead he kissed me with open mouth. I can hear the slapping of his kisses but I didn’t kiss back. Shit! How I wanted to kiss him back but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction he wanted. I can still control myself. I’m sure.

 

But not when he started to deepen the kiss. The kiss was gentle but speaks hunger. He holds my nape to hold me in place as he explores my open mouth. What? When did I open my mouth to him?!

 

“I’m not kissing a statue, right?” he asks between the kiss and oh, it sends me to heaven. He has this very sexy voice that could bend every knee to worship him and guess what? I’m one of those.

 

I hummed my answer to him and he leaned again to capture my waiting lips. We started to kiss hungrily. Oh god, how I wanted to devour him like my favorite food. How I long to kiss him like this, to own him like this.

 

Didn’t I get mad at him the other day because he kissed me? Why can’t I get mad now when he is _really_ kissing me? Maybe because—

 

I was panting and trying to catch my breath like a fish out of the water when he pulled away. That was the longest kiss I ever had. I expected him to laugh at me. I even prepare myself to hear him say the worst words I could ever hear. I kissed him back and that was my biggest mistake. But he didn’t move. I look at him and hopefully I can see the answers in his face.

 

We stayed in silent for a good minute before he started to caress my check again and I leaned into his touch. If this is the last time I could feel his touch, his presence, I will do everything to remember this for the rest of my life.

 

“Remember our first kiss?” it is more like a whisper but I still manage to catch what he means.

 

My face heated when I hear those words. It makes my life miserable. I wanted to tell him. it didn’t put me into sleep for almost 2 months thinking that my best friend kissed me and touched me and I kissed him back and I touched him back and the moment we both realize that it is wrong, we are both disgusted with each other. No, he was but not me because, I know it is wrong to admit it, but I love it when his little hand travel into the south of my body, gasping for something and brushes my erection. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life. Most embarrassing yet I can’t bring myself to hate that moment, to regret that it happens.

 

_“This is all a mistake, biggest mistake. Let us keep it to ourselves. If anyone knows about it, I swear I’ll kill you.”_

 

Those words still playing on a repeat into my head like a broken record and it still hurts me like it was just yesterday which in fact, it was 7 years ago. Seven fucking years!

“Yeah, that was the biggest mistake we’ve ever done.” Note the sarcasm please. I wanted to push him and repeat those words he told me seven years ago but I can’t do that because I want it to happen again and again and again.

 

He clenches his fist and unclenches it. I don’t know why and I don’t want to ask him. As much as possible, I want to keep my mouth shut. We are just staring into each other’s eyes. No one wanted to talk, no one wanted to open our mouths.

I break the silence first, “Ki-Killua,” I called him and his gaze meets mine once again. “Can I take my reward now?” I don’t know what I am thinking but wanted to do this. I don’t want to lose my sanity over the things I never tried.

 

“Yeah?”

 

I inhale and exhale harshly which I earned a chuckle from him. “Uhm,” I started, I wanted to make it sound like ‘I just wanna try’ and not to give him the idea that I really want it.

 

“Ask anything PIka,” he said.

 

“Can I—” I bite my bottom lip to suppress the shaking in my voice.

 

He hummed his answer while caressing my cheek. Every time he touches me, I leaned to it as if my life depends on it.

 

“What is it?”

 

He bites his luscious red lips and I’m lost. I grab his nape and initiate the kiss. He kissed me back. Our tongue fighting for dominance and the simple kiss turned into a hot French kiss. No one wanted to pull, no one wanted to stop it until we both are panting, gasping for air as if we are both deprived with oxygen.

 

He pulls me and leaned his forehead into mine while caressing the back of my head. We are still panting as if we run miles away. He groups my face and tilted my head. What surprise me is that, he kissed my forehead like a lover to his love of his life. My gaze met his and we remained like that for over a minute before he breaks our gaze and our silence.

 

“Pika?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you feel something towards Gon?” I didn’t saw it coming. I didn’t know why he has to ask about that.

 

I furrow my eyebrows, “Why’d you ask?”

 

“Nothing. I’m just wondering since you are close to him, as in closer.” He releases a chuckle which makes me relax a bit.

 

“He’s my best friend,” I shrugged my shoulder to him.

 

“I’m your best friend too, right?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“But we are not that close just like how close you are to him,”

 

“That’s because you’re an asshole and he is nice,”

 

“Ahuh,” he playfully punches me.

 

“Are you jealous with him?” I tease him

 

“Yeah, what can you do?”

 

“Shut up.” And we both laughed at that. We haven’t talk like this for a while and I miss him.

 

“I’m your husband yet you are closer to him,” he pouted like a kid throwing his tantrum.

 

I just laughed out loud, “That’s because you are not treating your wife very well,”

 

“Cheater,” he said and slightly smacks me on my head which makes me burst in laughter. “I’ll sleep here,” he announces then stands up.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

He didn’t reply instead he walks to my closet and walk back with a towel hanging in his shoulder and already half naked.

 

“Seriously?”

 

He just nodded and then enters the bathroom. After he disappears in my sight, I stand up and walk to my closet looking for clothes that may fit to him. I pulled a pajama and a white t-shirt. We have the same body built so I guess this can fit with him. I walk to the bed and place the found clothes at the edge of the bed.

 

I grab my laptop and then go to the Facebook site. Melody just posted Leorio and Neon's engagement proposal. How cute. It has millions of likes already. How famous. My lips curl up in a smile. He deserves to be happy and he was lucky.

 

_“Gosh! That's very hot.”_ that’s Cheadle, Leorio's sister, comments on the photo where Leorio and Neon kissed. How supported she is with Leorio and I’m thankful that my parents are like her, very supported.

 

“What is that?” Killua emerged from the bathroom to the bed where I’m sitting with my eyes fixated at the laptop in my lap. He was only wearing a towel covering his lower half body. I watch and followed as the beads of water slides down from his flat chest down to his six packs and absorbed by the towel in his waist. I swallow the large lump forming in my throat when he smiles mischievously.

 

“Ah, our pictures, Melody already posted it.” I said and fix back my gaze at the laptop in front of me and tried so hard to really avoid the person besides me.

 

He sits beside me and looks at what I’ve been looking. The fragrance from the shampoo and soap he used lingers in my nostril as if I didn’t use the same items. It smells good to him.

 

“They’re cute together,” he said while smiling and I just nodded.

 

“Your clothes is over there.” I pointed on the clothes lying at the edge of the bed. He follows my fingers and look over to me with a puzzled look. “What?”

 

“Didn’t I tell you that I can’t sleep well with clothes on?” he said.

 

“What?” this is clearly a torture for me. Sleeping with him alone is already a torture how much more when he is sleeping naked beside me in the same bed, under the same quilt? “Are you kidding me?”

 

“Isn’t it Gon is sleeping with you half naked?”

 

“Half naked Killua not naked,” I said emphasizing every word to him.

 

“Ah, okay.” He just said and then walks to my closet. He came back with boxers on. “Is this enough?” he sarcastically asks and I just nodded. _It’s better than nothing._ I thought. He walks back to the side he was sitting a while ago and pushed me to the other side to have room for him. “Let’s sleep, I’m kinda tired.”

 

I just nodded. I shut down the laptop and put it at the night stand. Killua was already lying comfortably while his hand is under his head. Maybe he was thinking something since he was just staring blankly at the ceiling.

 

“Thinking something?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m just thinking how you can sleep with the other guy while your husband is away,” he smirks.

 

“Asshole!”

 

He just laughed happily. He moved closer to me then inserted his arm under my head, pulling me closer to him. He grabs my hand and wrapped it around his waist. I just let him do whatever he wants. That night, I sleep comfortably in his chest as if I was made to be in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

We dragged our feet to school tiredly. I have classes this morning while Killua didn’t have but he still accompanies me.

 

“You can wait for me in the car. I only have two hours of lecture this morning then we can grab something to eat after.” I said while grabbing my things at the backseat of my car.

 

“No, I’m going with you.” he firmly said.

 

“What are you going to do in there?”

 

“Watch you,”

 

“Killua you’ll get bored in there,”

 

“As long as you’re there I’m not going to be bored.”

 

I just let out a sigh of defeat. Knowing Killua, he won’t budge even if I push him away. When he decided to go, he will whatever it takes.

 

We walk to the College of Law. Everyone is looking at us as if we are some kind of movie stars walking down the hallway. Killua is wearing his usual attire. Black leather jacket and white t-shirt inside while he has black fitted rip jeans and black sneakers in his feet. His hair was in his messy morning style match with a pair of black eye glasses. Isn’t he very cool in that outfit? No wonder all the girls swoon just with that look how much more when he smiles.

 

“Take a picture, it will last.” he mocks me with his mischievous smirk.

 

“I’m just wondering why the hell you are looking so prepared today.” I mocked him too.

 

“I’ll be watching you having debate for the first time so I prepare.”

 

“Prepare for what?”

 

He halted and slowly picks his sunglass a little down in his nose bridge to show his eyes glaring at me. “You have your debate today so I’ll be giving you moral support, isn’t it obvious?”

 

I knitted my eyebrows to him, “How did you know that I’ll have debate today?”

 

“Scheduler,” he grinned as if that was a great idea. “Today, I’m giving you the best moral support that you could ever had,”

 

This makes me burst into laughter “Why should I need a moral support? I survive a hundreds of debates before without a moral support, so why not now?”

 

“Tsk! Can you just be grateful since I put a lot of effort to walk with you today and watch your fucking boring debate?” he stomp his feet like a kid then walk ahead of me.

 

I watch his back as he walk ahead like a ramp model in a runway. So adorable! I follow him until we reach the hall where our debate took place. My classmates are already settled at the front seat. I sit beside Rapha Moore, our class President.

 

“Kurta, we will be at the defense position.” He informed me which I only nod. “Our topic will be about the contraceptives,”

 

“What? Isn’t it an outdated topic?”

 

“Hehe, just kidding. We will be debating about the Homosexual as Mental Disorder.”

 

“Oh,” I just said. “Fucking interesting,” I added with gritted teeth. Sigh! _Mental Disorder their ass._

 

I grab my laptop in my backpack and research about homosexual related articles. I need a little background before I could open my mouth to defend our side. It’s not that I wanted to defend our side because I consider myself as one, yeah, since I fall for someone with the same sex as me and he is unfortunately sitting at the back with his chin was leaning against my shoulder, but I wanted to fucking won this debate for this someone who give me some ‘moral support’ as he said.

 

A couple of minutes later, our Professor walk in with two other Professors which will be the judges for this debate.

 

“Let’s start. Both sides introduce yourselves,” Atty. Dane opens the debate.

 

One by one, the opposing side introduce themselves. One of them is Charlotte Gordon, my rival in everything. Yes, as in everything. She looks over to me and smirk but her face change color when she saw who was with me. She was head over heels in love with Killua since we are in middle school. She tried to seduce Killua once but then she suffered rejection from him but of course, she didn’t stop and seduce him again and again when she got the chance. But sad to say, she’s not the type that Killua would love to be with. She got no looks, boobs and body, she only got brain cells.

 

I silently smirked. This means victory. When she’s distracted she can think straight and turned into a big mess. After all it’s a good idea that I bring Killua with me. Later on I’ll reward this bastard who flirts with Jane Ricks, Atty. Dane’s secretary, who is just three meters away from us.

 

“Killua, fucking behave!” I chided him with gritted teeth. He just smiles at me which made my heart melts. Sooner or later I’ll roast that.

 

After the short introduction of the other side, we started to introduce ourselves also after Atty. Dane told us to do so. Our Team composes of Mark, Rapha, Daniel, Wilson, Jackson, Andrew and me which we call ‘The Humble Beginners”. Well, it’s not that we are beginners in this kind of war but we just wanted to make our opponents underestimate us so we can attack freely.

 

After our introduction, Atty. Dane declared the war to start. Then we started our two hours battle of the brains and tongue. We throw lots of vulgar words to provoke each of us and be shaken with what we believe is right. We uses different types of strategy to win the battle, we even betrayed one in our group to step up the ladder of success.

 

“Many researchers proven that Homosexuality is indeed a mental disorder.”

 

“Let us say that many researches have been done to prove that Homosexuality is a mental disorder. As a matter of fact, in the 1950s and 1960s, some therapists employed aversion therapy of the kind featured in A Clockwork Orange to "cure" male homosexuality. This typically involved showing patients pictures of naked men while giving them electric shocks or drugs to make them vomit, and, once they could no longer bear it, showing them pictures of naked women or sending them out  on a "date" with a young nurse. Needless to say, these cruel and degrading methods proved entirely ineffective. Thus, on 1987, homosexuality was completely falling out of the DSM or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual.”

 

“Bible said that God only made man and woman so it is normal that only man and woman will be united in marriage and homosexuality is a mortal sin.” Charlotte stands for his belief. All her team mates cheer for her.

 

_See? That is what I mean a complete mess._

 

“Ms. Gordon, I believe that your ideas of mortal sin are clearly unreasonable. As what I’ve read, mortal sins are those sins that clearly specified in the Ten Commandments. Want me to recite to you what are those sins? In which, homosexuality was ‘not’ included in the list.” My teammates cheer with me.

 

“In addition, let me site a famous line from Sigmund Freud in his basic theory of human sexuality which he states that Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation, it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function produced by a certain arrest of sexual development. It is a great injustice to persecute homosexuality as a crime, and cruelty too.” This made all my classmates roar in unison to cheer for our team and gained me a standing ovation from the judges.

 

Charlotte opens her mouth but later on she closes it as there are no words her tongue can produce. I saw how her face changes from pale to crimson red in embarrassment since she can’t think of how she can fight back. This battle was clearly single handled by me. A smirk plastered in my face. She grabs her hand bag and walk out of the hall as we celebrate our success.

I was startled when a pair of arms pulled me into a bone cracking hug. I can feel that all my limbs become numb after that.

 

“You’re so fucking good!” Killua exclaimed as he mess up my hair from behind. “Tell me, where did you get those brain cells of yours?”

 

I just chuckled softly to that.

 

“Since you won, I’ll treat you out.”

 

“Oh, can we join you?” Rapha fixed his big reading glasses while smiling sweetly to Killua.

 

“Can we join too?” Jackson pulled Wilson and Daniel with him in front of us.

 

“Sure.” Killua just said.

 

After we finished packing our things and bidding our goodbyes to the Professors, we rush outside to eat. We all got to my car with Killua at the driver’s seat and I am at the passenger’s seat. I don’t know how the four of them fit into the backseat. Mark did not go with us since he had exam after so he need to rush to his next class. He’s an irregular student and need to take his behind minor subject at the other colleges. We stopped at the Sandwich and Co.

 

“Good day, welcome to Sandwich and Co.,” the crew smiles at us but smiles widely at Killua. What’s wrong with them? _Grr!_

 

“Table for 7,” Killua told the crew which made me knitted my eyebrow. “One slot for you, Miss Beautiful,” he added and then wink to the crew. The girl giggled as if they’re the only person in the world.

 

“Ahem,” I cut their flirting in front of me, “He’s just kidding, table for six. And no, you’re not invited to sit with us.” I said and then grab Killua away from the girl.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

“You like her? Okay, then go and flirt with her the whole day and don’t show your face to me ever again,”

 

“Are you jealous?” a smirk was plastered in his face, teasing me.

 

“Yes,” I replied immediately.

 

It made him open his mouth and then close again. I just rolled my eyes to him then follow Rapha who is heading to a table which was arrange for us. I regretted the word that came out of my mouth but I know I can’t take it back. It’s up to Killua if he will take it seriously, which I prayed he will, or just ignore it as it just a joke.

Later on, he walks at the table we occupied. He sits beside me without saying any words. Yeah, it’s better than confronting me about the incident earlier.

 

When our food arrives, we silently munch our foods while our companions are getting engrossed with talking a bunch of nonsense topics. I casually replied and talk when they’re asking me and Killua too but none of the two us really talks until we finished our foods and bid our goodbyes to each of us.

 

Killua and I, after parking at the school’s parking lot, we walk into the College of Engineering. The gang decided that we will eat our lunch at the CoE cafeteria since Neon had a bunch of exams this whole day and it will be convenience for her to just eat at the college’s cafeteria. It will be convenience for Hanzo also who had a bunch of make-up classes too and immediately agreed to that.

 

The gang already seated on the table when we arrived so we take our sits at the vacant chair provided for us. We started to talk to each other as if we didn’t see each other for a very long time and that makes Killua boast about me winning the debate. The gang cheers for me which made my cheek turned into darker shade of pink in embarrassment.

 

“Shut up,” I can only say while he was talking.

 

“He’s awesome!” he exclaimed.

 

He keep on talking and talking, boasting how I won the debate. My lips crawled up into a hidden smile. I didn’t know but I’m happy knowing that he really appreciated that small thing about me. It really warms my heart.

 

“Happy?” Gon whispers into my ear makes me jolted a little.

 

“Yeah,” I shyly admitted. Who won’t if his first love boasting about you shamelessly?

 

“For sure,” he teases me.

 

Killua mentioned something that makes everyone laughs. I suddenly felt so embarrassed though I didn’t pick up what he just said.

 

“Right?” Killua asks everyone while looking over to me.

 

“Shut up!” I can only say.

 

They keep on talking about anything until Neon and Leorio walks into the cafeteria. They sit at the vacant chair side by side. Yeah, knowing Leorio who is very protective over his girlfriend in which we understood. Who wouldn’t when she suffers from a beating last time when Leorio isn’t around to protect her? Leorio said he wanted to make it his personal mission to make Neon safe at all cost especially after losing his entire family. My friend really turned to be a good boyfriend and a clingy one, I must add.

We eat noisily like those kids in the middle school which makes everyone shoots us a deadly glare but of course they can’t do anything especially when the kings of the Sinclair University don’t give a damn to them. They will just eat silently while we are disturbing them with our loud laughs.

 

After we finish our foods, we still are noisy while grabbing our asses out of the cafeteria. Everyone inside sigh in relief the moment we are outside the door.

 

We slowly split to our classes. Hanzo and Killua escorted Neon back to his class. Leorio and Melody headed back to the College of Medicine while Canary and Gon headed back to the College of Architecture. I wanted to go back to the College of Law but I didn’t have classes this afternoon so I just drag my feet back to my car and go home. Sleep probably and dream about him.

 

I sent a short message to everyone that I headed back home so they don’t have to wait for me later on. I sent a special message to Killua.

 

_Kurapika D’ Hunter:_

_“Call me later if you want to go home, I’ll pick you up.”_

 

I sent it immediately with a big smile plastered on my face. I inserted my key into the keyhole and immediately climb up into the driver seat of my Ferrari 420. Killua’s smell lingers into the inside of my car. I close my eyes while I let his smell enter my nostril down into my system. He had this very unique smell that I love very much and made me addicted to him.

 

“Bastard,” I mutter. How could I let him slips away from me and watch him banged every girl he wanted if he keeps on clinging into my system like a damn monkey? I flinched a little when my phone vibrated into my pocket, snapping me out of my short reverie.

 

_Almighty Killua:_

_“Don’t let me wait up or else I’m gonna kick your ass. Love yah wifey._ _”_

“You’ll be the death of me, _bastard_.” I smile into the thin air blows from the air conditioning system of my car. He really will be the death of me in the future.

 

I started the car and drove away from the school premises. I headed to a public library at down town. I have my own library at the mansion but I wanted to feel like I’m not alone reading books as if I’m some kind of a nerd.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uhm, I don't own Hunter x Hunter, this is all thanks to Yoshihiro Togashi for making such a wonderful anime/manga :)

I seated at the end side of the library. I already grab some books on my way in. the gang knows I’m some kind of a bookworm so sometimes they’ll just drag some books out of the shelves in any book stores and wrap it for me. That’s why, in no time I already had a mini library at the mansion. My parents also grab me some when they are out of the country or sometimes order it and have it delivered in our house. Aren’t they supported?

 

I open the first book in my table, that’s The King Must Die written by Mary Renault. I’m not into mythical novels but this will be great to kill my boredom and to kill some time while waiting for my _“hubby”_ to text me so I can pick him up. I don’t know but I just wanted to make it memorable for me. Me picking him from anywhere. That’s a dream come true for me.

 

I was at the climax of the story when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I flinched a little causing the books in my table fall into the hard cemented floor of the library. I immediately grab it back before the librarian will scold me for not respecting the _“silence”_ policy of the library.

 

I pick up the phone and my face immediately lightens up when I read the caller’s name. “Hey,” I said, trying to be normal despite of my hearts leaping happily inside my chest. The hell’s wrong with me?

 

_“I’m done.”_ He said happily over the line.

 

“Okay, I’ll be there at 10.” I said then hung up.

 

I immediately stood up, leaving all the books at the table. I’m sorry I’m not in the mood to put it back to its rack, blame it to the bastard who just calls me to pick him up. Blame it to my heart who can’t say no to that bastard.

 

I drove to the school’s parking the moment I reach the school premises. It’s around 5 in the afternoon already, well, that explains why there were no more students roaming around the school’s main gate.

 

I fished out my phone at the compartment of my car where I usually hide my phone while driving, started to type my message to the bastard.

 

_“I’m at the main gate. Where the hell are you?”_ I sent it immediately. It doesn’t take a minute for him to reply.

 

_Almighty Killua:_

_“Coming!”_

 

While waiting for him, I scroll the messages from the gang. We don’t have particular plan this evening so I guess, the gang were already at their respective houses. I don’t want to bother them as long as they don’t want me to bother them.

 

**_“THE GANG”_ **

_Baby Canary:_

_“Kite and I were going to watch the new Thor movie, wanna come everyone?”_

_Best Buddy Kite:_

_“@Baby Canary, it’s supposed to be just us. Why are you inviting them? (Face palm)”_

_Leorio D’ Great:_

_“No thanks @Baby Canary, Neon and I have plans this evening.”_

_Almighty Killua:_

_“HAHAHA. It’s supposed to be a date @Baby Canary between you and @Best Buddy Kite, don’t invite us, we might come and ruin your date.”_

_King Pairo:_

_“HAHAHA, can I come? I wanted to ruin it for you. Wanna bet?”_

_Leorio D’ Great:_

_“HAHAHA,”_

_King Pairo:_

_“I’m really willing to,”_

_Baby Canary:_

_“Kite didn’t tell me it’s just the two of us. If I would have known, I won’t say yes at all.”_

_Melodious Melody:_

_“HAHAHA, poor Canary. Kite sure has his way to ruin your day. HAHAHA”_

_Lord Hanzo:_

_“Advance condolence to your ass @Baby Canary,”_

_Baby Canary:_

_“Fuck you!”_

_Best Buddy Kte:_

_“Don’t worry @Baby Canary. I’ll be gentle this time.”_

_Emperor Gon:_

_“HAHA, good luck for that!”_

_Lord Hanzo:_

_“I’ll bet for 7 rounds, who’s with me? *grin*”_

_Leorio D’ Great:_

_“I’m in!”_

_Kurapika D’ Hunter:_

_“8 rounds for @Best Buddy Kite *wink*”_

_Best Buddy Kite:_

_“Thank you for the support @Kurapika D’ Hunter,”_

_Emperor Gon:_

_“9 rounds for 20! Shoot!”_

_Lord Hanzo_

_“25 bet!”_

_Melodious Melody:_

_“Bet!”_

_King Pairo:_

_“Bet!”_

_Emperor Gon:_

_“Bet!”_

_Kurapika D’ Hunter:_

_(Face Palm) “I’m sorry @Baby Canary I bet! HAHAHA”_

_Almighty Killua:_

_“I’m in!”_

_Baby Canary:_

_“Seriously?!” (Angry)_

_Almighty Killua:_

_“Very serious! LOL”_

_Best Buddy Kite:_

_“:P”_

_Emperor Gon:_

_“Poor Zen. Condolence in advance,”_

 

“What are you laughing at?” that snaps me out of my virtual world. My lips immediately curl up into a sweet smile the moment my eyes locked with his gorgeous face.

 

“Group chat,” I replied. “Hop in,” I motion him to climb up.

 

“Yeah. Poor Zen,”

 

We both laughed to that. Kite loves to pick up with Canary since Canary can’t really say no to him. I don’t know if there is something between the two. They aren’t obvious though but I wanted to think that maybe one of them really fall for the other one. Oh fuck! Not all my friends are like me who fall for a friend. Yeah, maybe they’re really just having fun.

 

“Dinner?”

 

“Your treat?” I cheekily ask. I’m happy. Why? I don’t know. It’s not like a date so please, just let me live in my dream.

 

“Sure. Where do you want to eat then? I’m fucking hungry. Dr. Peus really squeezes our brain so hard.” He whined and I just laugh.

 

I drive to the main street and started to head to the restaurant we both chose. It’s a Chinese restaurant. Not so famous so it’s not so crowded. We both wanted peace while we devour our foods so it will be a great choice.

 

We settled down at the farthest table at the second floor of the restaurant beside a large glass window which you can sight see the busy street where different types of vehicles were busy buzzing their horns but we can’t hear them clearly, just a faint sound from here.

 

“What can I get you gentlemen?” a Chinese lady with her cute broken English entertained us. She’s holding her pen and order notes.

 

“Nǐ hěn piàoliang, [You are beautiful]” Killua commented which made the poor girl to turned to riper than tomato. I mentally face palm. Of course we know how to speak Chinese since Melody sometimes speaks to us with the language and we’re fast learner, so yeah. That’s it.

 

“Xièxiè, [Thank you]” She bowed a curtly while smiling sweetly to Killua.

 

“I’ll have Gong Bao Chicken, Fried Rice and Shrimp Wanton.” I cut them and the lady immediately jots down my order.

 

“Shrimp Fried Rice and Shrimp Wanton,” Killua mumbled. Isn’t he too cute for it? I suppressed myself to giggle.

 

“Two glass of cold green tea,” I added.

 

“Dumplings!” we both shouted like kids ordering their favorite foods then we both laughed happily.

 

That’s one of the reasons why I and Killua love to be with each other every time we eat because we both have the same favorite foods. I don’t know why but that’s one of the reason too why I fall for him so hard, hopelessly, I must add.

 

After the lady takes our orders we both slump in our chairs. Actually we can go to the fancy restaurant to eat something nice but as what I’ve said, we wanted peace while we are devouring our foods so this will be a great choice for the both of us.

 

“You don’t have date tonight?” I ask just to break the silence between us.

 

He shook his head, “I’m not in the mood to get one.” I nodded while thanking silently. “What about you?”

 

“Didn’t I have you as a date now?” I joke which makes him chuckled.

 

“Yeah, better focus on me.” he said.

 

We both laughed at that. We often kid about dating each other but that was just Blake joking around. If I just didn’t know him, maybe I also gone believing him that he really mean it where in fact he just kidding around. But, I know him very well like I know the back of my hands. Sometimes I wanted to convince myself to believe him even just for once but myself keep on nagging me not to because I’ll just hurt myself.

 

“Where do you want to go after here?” he asks suddenly.

 

“Why? You want to bring me to somewhere else?” I ask jokingly.

 

“Yeah.” Which makes me taken aback, “There’s a park at the north that will cater a movie viewing for the passer and family campers. We can go there and watch a movie for free.”

 

My heart jumps out of my chest, this is crazy. Movie with Killua at the park, isn’t it nice? “Oh,” I just said.

 

He just smiles at me, that kind of smile that says ‘I want to fuck you 24/7’, sweet yet deceiving. He often use that smile to the girls he picked up in a club or bar then fucked afterwards. I rolled my eyes to him which makes him laughed.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you got me there.” I just said afterwards which makes him nod in agreement.

 

The arrival of our order snaps me out of my train of thoughts. We eat in silence as if when someone speaks the food will disappear.


	7. Chapter 7

After Killua pays the bill, which he insisted, we headed back to my car and he drove to the park he was telling me. It was a little far away from the city’s busy street. We are still far from that park yet I already inhaled the fresh air from the river which connected to the seashore.

 

We parked at the parking area provided by whoever the in-charge here then climbed out of the car. I was amazed by the entrance of the park. It was an arch with vines crawled decorated it and roses hanging from the top of the arch. It was beautiful.

 

“Amazing right?” Killua whispers near my ear and I just nodded. He holds my waist and ushers me to the entrance and my eyes widen to the view in front of me. If the arch is amazing this is more amazing.

 

The path was decorated with a café bulbs, lighted it as if we are in a road heading to a castle. The green grass adorned the bulbs, protecting it from the intruders. The fresh misty air was blowing to our faces.

 

We walk into the path heading to a wide area covered with green lawns where family campers are sitting at their mats facing the large LCD in front like we are in a concert ground. I look around. This place is not crowded since I can almost count with my fingers the number of the people here.

 

“Let’s take our mat,” Killua said dragging me to a small booth at the side. “One mat for two please,” he said.

 

The owner or caretaker takes out a mat from under the table and two cushion pillows, then give it to us. Killua handed him a bill, for rent maybe, then we off to the area fronting the large LCD. We laid down the mat at the grass then put the two pillows in there before we take off our shoes and lay down in the mat. Killua takes my pillow and put it in front of him which makes me furrow my eyes brows to him.

 

“Sit here,” he said. I wanted to ask him why but he already pulled me down so I just swallow my questions back. I sit in between his legs then he wrapped his arms around my upper body, hugging me from behind then dragging me closer to him. I take the opportunity to lean my head into his hard chest making me half lying into the mat.

 

“Comfortable?” he whispers into my ear which sends shiver down to my toes and my heart race out of my chest. _Damn!_

 

“Yeah,” I just said breathily. Who didn’t if he was so close to me that I can inhale his breathe and smell his expensive masculine perfume that I really love. It lingers into my soul and refused to leave like he wanted to occupy a large part of my being. I can feel his hard chest in my back that made me sigh heavenly. I’ve been looking forward to this moment but I’m not expecting it to happen so soon.

 

It was little longer before the A Walk To Remember played in the LCD monitor. It’s an old romantic movie but one of the nicest. I smile as the older couple in front of us lean into each other for a kiss. How sweet.

 

The movie is set in North Carolina and follows the rite of passage of a jaded, aimless high school senior, Landon Carter played by Shane West who falls in love with a guileless young woman Jamie Sullivan played by Mandy Moore, he and his friends once scorned. The two develop a powerful and inspirational relationship in which they discover truths that take most people a lifetime to learn. Sad movie but you can learn a lot. My mom and dad once drag me to their room when I was 10 years old and we watched this movie that makes my mom cry at the end of the movie.

 

I was too engrossed into the movie that I haven’t notice Killua hand was already intertwined with mine. I can feel my face heated from that. I tried to peek over to him behind but afraid that he will catch me and withdraw his hand from mine so I just let it. I squeeze his hand, can’t believe that this is happening. I wonder if this is a dream and in just a blink of an eye everything will disappear and we’ll back to normal.

 

He leans into me and put his chin above my shoulder, tilting his head, peeking me, “You okay?” I just nodded, smiling to him to convey that everything is alright, so damn right.

 

“Be with someone who brings out the best in you,” he suddenly said.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Landon Carter said,”

 

“Oh,” I can only say then nodded.

 

We stayed in that position until the movie credits rolled indicating the end of the movie. Killua loosens his hold to me and then stands up.

 

“CR,” he wink to me then immediately takes off to wherever he wants to go. I just watch his disappearing back into behind the trees before he completely disappears.

 

Maybe he was been here already that he manages to walk into the area without asking for a direction. I wonder who was with him when he got here. Sigh! I can feel my heart twisted a little, hurting me in the process. After all he was Killua who loves to be with different girls every day and every night. Girls for him was like a clothes, after he use it he will discard it and forget about it for the rest of his life.

 

I watched as the couples in front of us hugs, kiss and even laid down the mat and just cuddle each other under the night sky decorated with the millions of stars shining brightly above, adoring the dark sky. It was beautiful. I fished out my phone and start taking pictures with the sky then around me. This is once in a lifetime moment, it won’t happen again so it’s better to take a remembrance of it as they said “Take pictures, it will last long.”

 

“Enjoying the view?” his gentle yet manly voice ringed into my ears.

 

“Yeah,” I look over to him. He was grinning happily. Then sit behind me, in his spot before wrapping his arms around me once again. “So, how did you find this place?” I curiously ask.

 

“Dad bring Mom here the year before they finally decided to get divorced for their wedding anniversary. Mom wants it to be simple and at the same time cheap yet romantic, so Dad brought her here and she was so happy that she even wake me up just to talk about this place at the middle of the night.”

I smiled. Wow! So it’s not because of some girls dragged him here but it’s his parents. How sweet they are. But, they aren’t together anymore. They separated 2 years ago; leaving Killua and Illumi, his older brother to his mom which he chooses not to leave her while his other siblings chose to be with their dad.

“That’s sweet,” I only muttered. He mumbled something I didn’t hear so I raise my eyebrows to him which he only give me a wide toothy grin showing his pearly white teeth. I only shook my head in disbelief. Sometimes he can really act all cute and childish that really melts my heart like a butter melted under the heated pan.

“Let’s go home,” he said.

“Okay,”

He stands up first then helps me stand up too. We folded the mat and brought it back to the booth where we borrow it. The in-charge looks at us, from Killua to me then back and forth then he smiles. Both I and Killua look into each other, confused of what the in-charge means with his smile towards us.

“Take this as a token,” he handed us a key chain. It’s a heart shape padlock and a key. He handed the heart shape padlock to Killua then the key to me. “May your relationship grow stronger, love each other, be loyal and be careful of each other’s heart until your last breathe.”

We both smile to him then turned our backs then run to the entrance before we both laughed our lungs out while holding our aching stomached from laughing so hard.

“Did he just say that we are couple?” Killua, still laughing, asks.

I nodded. _I wish._

“I like what he said,” he added. I turned my head to him, curious of what he means with that. “Let us keep this relationship grow stronger Pika,” he said.

“Best friends forever,” I said. Is it only me or Killua’s face really fell the moment those words came out from my mouth.

He smiles brightly again, “Yeah, forever.”

We walk out of the place and into the car, hand in hand. This is really a moment worth keeping for, worth to be treasured. Killua drove us back to the busy street and back to the mansion.

“How are you going home?” I ask since he didn’t bring his car when he came here the other night.

“Isn’t this also my house?” he grins. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah whatever.” I just said.


	8. Chapter 8

We both stepped into the bathroom half naked as we decided to just shower together. We are both tired from our small adventure at the park and dusty I must add. I hanged our towels at the towel bar then proceeded under the shower head. Killua was already soaking wet and covered with soap when I stepped beside him. He grabbed me when he sense that I was there.

 

“Let me wash you,” he said and I just let him. He grabs the shower gel and the sponge then put a large amount of gel in then started to soap me after wetting me. “You’re dirty,” he joked and I just smack him slightly making him grin.

 

He soaps me like a mother to her child, not leaving any spots untouched aside from my private part which I prayed he won’t consider washing too.

 

“Strip,” he ordered.

 

I literally jump out of his grip, “No!” my eyes widen as wide as saucer if it is possible.

 

“C’mon Pika,”

 

“You’re insane,” I whimper then he laughed. He throws the sponge at me which I gladly catch, “Asshole,”

 

“Scratch my back then.” He pointed into his back so I walk behind him and started to brush the sponge into his back. I swallow hard when my finger touches his bare skin. He had soft and pinkish skin in his sexy back; anyone can see it will surely water their mouth especially when you can touch it like me and surely got a boner when you hear him moan erotically. Oh god, how horny I am.

 

After I make sure that every inch of his back was already covered with soap, I started to attend to myself, leaving him alone at the center of the bathroom. He can’t see since his face was covered with soap. I giggle at how cute he was. He was like a naked snowman.

 

“Pika,” he called and I chuckle softly. I walk over to him and then pulled the shower head to wash him. He pouted to me the moment the soap from his face was cleared.

 

We both wash ourselves in silence and step out of the bathroom after wrapping our towels around our waist then walk into the closet to grab something to wear. Killua followed me behind silently.

 

I grab my boxers and slip into it immediately while Killua was busy looking for a dark colored boxers. He loves black colored boxer, I know it that’s why I stock lots of dark colored boxers. I grin. _Naughty!_ I bite my lower lip when he found what he wants then started to slip it to him. I watch him wear the piece of clothes as if it was a slow motion movie. I swallow hard when I see how huge his is. The last time I see it, it’s not that huge. How is it possible he grows it like a monster within just a 1 year and a half?

 

“Let’s sleep.” He said after slipping off the white tee he found and I nodded.

 

We walk into the bedroom. He lied down immediately which I followed suit. I sit at my side and grab my phone, checking all the messages I have. My mom said that they won’t be home for a month because they will be celebrating their anniversary in advance while they are in Milan, Italy. What a rich old folks they are. I replied her with just an ‘OK’.

 

“Aren’t you sleepy?” Killua snakes his arms around my waist and immediately stiffens to his touch. I only look at him without words, just silence. He also looks over to me in silence like our eyes talk to each other without us knowing.

 

Oh shit! I want him right here and now.

 

“Killua,” I whisper

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Uhm,” I said. “I’m thinking about my reward,”

 

He reaches for my cheek and slowly caressing it while humming his answer. Every time he touches me, I leaned to it as if my life depends on it. I want to feel his warm hand on my body, in every inch of me.

 

He sits up and leaned his head into the head rest, “What is it?”

 

“Can I be—” I trailed off, fearing that what I want to tell will only severe the only thing that’s left for us.

 

_Friendship._

 

“One of your one night stands?” I bravely uttered.

 

He softly laugh but faded the moment he realize what I ask, “What?!” his hands immediately drops into his side.

 

“Winner can have everything he wants, right?” I said, trying hard to control myself.

 

“And you want to be a one night stand?” _Yeah, because I know you,_ I wanted to answer him. “Kurapika Kurta, what are you asking me is—”

 

“I know,” I cut him. The way he said my full name alone send chill into my spine, it’s like that moment when you fly across the space, it’s overwhelming. “I want that, take it or leave like a coward shit?” I challenge him. I know he didn’t like that idea. If this is my last chance, I will do anything to make it happen. I won’t torture myself from thinking about the dozens of what if’s in the future.

 

He studied me and he saw that I’m serious about that. He let out a sigh of defeat, “Pika,” he tried to convince me to change my mind.

 

“C’mon, don’t ruin the fun.” I urge him. Fun, maybe it is to him but not to me but of course, I don’t want him to know that.

 

He sigh silently, “Give me a good reason why should I have to do that?”

 

“Because I won,” I told him and he shakes his head.

 

“Why do you want it? I know you’re not gay to begin with,”

 

“Uh-huh,” I just said, “Does being fucked at the shithole makes someone gay?”

 

“I— I don’t know,”

 

“You don’t know. So?” I don’t know what kind of monster, perverted monster to be exact, possessed me but one thing I am sure of is that, I want him in my bed.

 

“I’m not gonna be bottom,” he whined like a kid.

 

“That’s not the decision you have to make. Remember, I. Won,” I told him emphasizing every word.

 

“Dude, don’t scare me like that. Never in my wildest dream have I thought of myself at the—”

 

I cut him by crashing my lips into him. He whimpers but it’s too late, I already captured his mouth into mine. I hold his nape in place to deepen the kiss. He gasped and I slide my tongue inside him, never leaving any part of his mouth untouched. He kisses me back, his hot touch invading my whole mouth in the process and pushes me to lean on the headrest. He grabs both my legs down making my back flattened at the mattress.

 

“Kissing without permission is a crime Pika,” he playfully flicked his fingers in my forehead and I just bite my lip, “Now I wanna fuck you hard,” he whispers into my ear and shit.

 

I just nodded into him.

 

“I’ll give you a chance to take it back Pika,” while reaching for his shirt’s collar and grab it up, away from his body. I swallow hard when I see his six packs. I still can’t believe he had those underneath his shirt. It’s been years since I last saw his naked body closer and just waiting for me to touch and literally, I’m drooling over it. Shit! He’s literally drop-dead gorgeous with those.

 

_This is it._


	9. Chapter 9

I groaned when I heard my alarm clock. I reach out for it and push the bottom, shutting it off. I slowly moved my body and pains shoots throughout my whole body. Even my limbs are hurting. I release a long sigh of relief the moment I get my back flattened at the mattress.

 

I stared blankly at the ceiling. I sigh again when I remember what happen last night. For Killua that was just fun, that was just my reward in winning the deal but not for me. I will treasure every touch, every kiss and even every thrust he made into me. I smile bitterly into the memory.

 

_I won’t see him again._

 

I clench and unclenched my fist that was gripping at the mattress beside me.

 

_Killua._

 

I know that he go home early this morning, as his morning routine, after every night spending at his girls, he will go home exactly 2 in the morning. That was his habit. He don’t want to be remembered by the girls he had sex the night before that’s why before they can even open their eyes, he was gone.

 

I release a hurtful sigh. This is it, the end of everything for us.

 

“Honey,” my nanny’s daughter break my train of thoughts. She was knocking on my door, “Young Master Gon is here to pick you up,” she said.

 

“I’m not coming, tell him to go ahead.” I just responded to her.

 

She left me after that. She surely knows when to give me some space for myself. That’s what I love her the most. She didn’t bother to pry on me when she feels that I don’t like talking about anything.

 

I crawl out from my bed to the bathroom and started to ransack my medicine kit, finding some pain reliever at the cabinet when someone knocks on my door.

 

_Gon._

“Kurapika?” he opens the door and saw me naked at the front of the medicine cabinet. “Are you okay?” he furrows his eyebrows to my naked state.

 

What? Do you expect me to run into the bathroom to hide like a girl because I’m naked? No, I’m proud of my body. So I’m proud to display it.

 

I just nodded without looking into him. I stare at the medicine in my grip. I couldn’t understand what type of illness this medicine can cured. I should call Leorio to inquire if it is safe to take or what. The medicine will effect not until an hour and even if I swallow it now, so I’m in trouble.  _Fucking Killua._

 

“Are you sure? You look pale,” he walk closer to me and ready to touch my forehead when I stop him.

 

“Dude, I’m naked for Pete’s sake, go away.” I told him and then slammed the door. I remember that I’m no kind of model to show my naked body to everyone. I remember that my bed smells cum. “Dude, stay away from my bed!” I shouted and I just heard him chuckle.

 

I quickly wrap a towel in my lower region and face Gon’s questioning look. I can still feel the pain engulfing my whole body especially in my rear but I still manage to walk and immediately dive my butt at the edge of the bed. I’m thankful that my bed is soft and it didn’t give me problem.

 

“Aren’t you going to school?”

 

“Nah, I’m not feeling well,” matter-of-fact.

 

“Are you sick?” he cut the gap between us and touches my forehead. “What are you not feeling well for?”

 

“I don’t want to go to school, that’s it.”

 

He nodded. “Want something to eat?”

 

“Gon, I’m fine. You should go,” I said. “Your first period will start sooner. You’ll be late promise,”

 

“What happen?” I was caught off guard. Heat curls up into my face when I remember what happen last night. Shit!

 

“Nothing happens,” I said, “Bad. I mean, nothing bad happen,” I assure him. Yeah, aside from my aching ass, I didn’t consider it as bad.

 

“Kurapika,”

 

“Gon please, I need rest. I wanted to rest.”

 

“Not until you told me what happen,” his stern voice made me jump a little. It’s been years since I heard him sounds like a pissed off grandpa.

 

“Nothing happens, period.” No way would I tell him about it. Though, Killua didn’t reprimand me to do so, I still don’t want to compromise my already broken relationship with him.

 

“I know what happen,”

 

I smirk. He’s always acting like a damn investigator and uses his reverse psychology on me. Nah, I’m not gonna bite it.

 

“I saw Killua this morning, running away with his F450,” he said which made my heart pound crazily underneath my chest. Shit! I forgot that his house and Killua’s are relatively near.

 

“T-then?”

 

“Your bed smells like him,” he continues nonchalantly and I caught off guard again, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. “So you tell me, what is he doing here last night?”

 

“He’s not here last night,”

 

“You’re a terrible liar, I told, you didn’t I?”

 

“What do you want?” annoyed.

 

“Tell me the truth,”

 

“There’s nothing happen between us, okay?” I tried to explain, “He just came here and he spend the night since we talk about his new girl until midnight,” I lied.

 

“And how can you explain your bed?”

 

“Should I have to tell you what he did?” I grinned devilishly. I walk closer to him wearing the best annoying grin I can ever have.

 

“Shit Pika,” he push me hard made me slump into my bed laughing my heart out.

 

“You’re thinking too much dude,” I said between my laughter, “Sometimes I think that you have something for him.”

 

“Fuck you,” he said scowling. I just laughed loudly to his face. “Pika, I warn you. If I found out what really happened, I’m gonna kick your already sore ass, get it?”

 

“How— What?!” I grimace to that.

 

He just nodded.

 

“Tsk!”

 

“What you have in your hand can’t relieve your pain idiot,” he mumbles while walking out of my room. “Try aspirin.” he said before he disappears in my sight and I was left dumbfounded.

 

_Shit!_

 

I was left with my heart pound painfully inside my chest. How did he know? Shit! I’m really a terrible liar after all. I groan before I slump my body back to the bed. He knows and I’m dead. I reach for my phone and texted him. I’ll just tell him the truth then make up with him later. He doesn’t like it when I’m lying to his face.

 

_Freecs, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t tell it to you. You know already what happen. Please don’t talk about it to anyone. I appreciate if you will just keep it a secret between us. Don’t worry, this will be the last time I would lie to you and the last time I would be talking to you about him and the last time I will have contact with him. Promise ;)_

 

I click the send button and it flow to Gon within seconds. I should think of the way I can to avoid Killua at all cost.

 

That guy will be the death of me.

 

It was one hour since Gon disappears in my sight but I was still nailed in my bed like I was meant to be glued on the mattress. I lay back to bed. I really need some sleep since I can still feel the pain even after I chew two tablets of aspirin.

 

What happens last night was like a movie on repeat in my head as if there’s a reel that keeps on reeling. How can I face Killua? How can I talk to Gon after I lied to him? How can I explain that I need to skip classes today just to mend my sore ass? I don’t know if I can still face the gang after I stitch a lie in their faces.

 

“Argh!!” I shouted in frustration. How can I do this? How can I be so selfish? Sigh!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don not own HxH.. I'm just a fan.  
> Please bare with me for the grammar and all :)

I showed up to the gang after three days of going off the radar. That is not so me that’s why I decide to go to school and show my face to them. Besides, I really am guilty lying to my parents every time they ask me on what’s going on and I chose to skip classes. After my last subject that morning, I go to the cafeteria, in our usual place to meet them.

 

“Hi Pika,” Kite motion me to sit beside him.

 

They are all here except for the person I’m wishing I couldn’t see around especially now that I am starting to regret what happen between us. Who wouldn’t? After 20 years of being together as best friends, I just drop it all and became one of his one night stands. Silly, right?

 

“Hi,”

 

They started to ask me what happen for the past three days that I keep myself from them. I lied to them, telling them that I have fever and I just have to rest a little but now I’m fine. They all nodded and didn’t talk about it anymore.

 

“Hey, don’t forget to grab your asses into my apartment tonight, huh.” Gon happily announces.

 

“For what?” Leorio asks while still typing on his phone and we know already who that was on the other line.

 

“Party,” he shrugged his shoulder while smirking.

 

“Woah! What is the occasion?” Pairo drum on the table excitedly.

 

“Blessing of my new apartment.” Gon replied.

 

“What?! You got another one?” I ask confused. He got into his new apartment without telling me.

 

“I’ll bring Neon,” Leorio announces while grinning.

 

“Dude, my house has only two bedrooms, please no naughty activity.” He responded to Leorio while shaking his head. Everyone laughs on those then talks about another topic, forgotten about my question. It’s weird. I feel like I was betrayed. How long did he want to do this to me?

 

I just keep my mouth shut. Maybe it’s my fault for not telling him about that night but I know he know the reason why and I shouldn’t explaining myself to him because he know already my reason at the first place.

 

My eyes fixed to Gon whom I never talked for the past three days since I turn my phone off. I smile into him and he just avoided my gaze. Sigh! Why did he have to act like this all of a sudden? I have to talk to him later and make up, possibly.

 

When the bell ringed, ending our lunch break, we all stand up and started to walk to our next classes. I grab Gon, stopping him.

 

“What?” he asks.

 

“I should be asking you the same question,” I said. “What happen? Am I not invited to your party? You didn’t answer my question earlier,”

 

“I don’t have time for this nonsense.” He grabs his arm back from my grip and started to walk away from me.

 

“Gon.” I grab his arm back and hug it closer to me. All the students passing through the hallway are looking at us.

 

“Stop it.” he glared at me.

 

“You didn’t answer my question,”

 

“What question exactly?”

 

“Don’t play dumb.”

 

“You know what? Go and chase after the love of your life instead of clinging unto me.” he push my arm and walk away from me.

 

Shit! He can’t be doing this to me. Sigh! He must be really mad at me for doing this. What should I do? Err! I just watch him disappearing from my sight. This is all my fault. I walk to my class with a heavy heart. I am not used to this kind of drama and I kinda hate it.

 

After two hours of lecture which I know nothing since I busied myself thinking over nothing in particular, I grab my back pack and dash out of the room. I am at the north wing of the school premises since I’m taken up Law and College of Law unfortunately is in the isolated wing of the Sinclair University.

 

I didn’t realize I was at the front of my car already until it beeps to call my attention. I space out again. This is not me. I realize there is so much changes for the past three days alone and everything change without me noticing about it. How much more if I’m gone long? Sigh!

 

“Pika,”

 

_Shit!_

I slowly turn my head to the owner of the voice I long to see at the same time I wish I couldn’t. I swallow the large lump in my throat when I saw him smiling like there is no tomorrow. His smile that can launch a thousand ship, his eyes twinkling like he own the whole universe. No wonder why I fall for him so bad.

 

“H-hey,” I replied to him casually.

 

“How are you?” he walks slowly, closing the distance between us and damn! I had a small heart attack when he reaches for my shoulder to squeeze it.

 

“I-I’m fine,”

 

“It’s been three days since—”

 

“I need to go,” I cut him, “Mom wants me to have shopping with her,” I said then run to the driver’s side of my car.

 

“Pika,”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“That’s my car,” he said while chuckling.

 

“Fuck!” I curse under my breath. Why did he have to use the same car as mine today? Grr! “S-sorry,” I roamed my eyes only to see that my car is in the opposite parking space. How come? I know I parked it here. Grr! I walk into my car then inserted the key at the keyhole.

 

“Wanna grab something to eat first?” he leans in the side of my car’s hood while spinning his key in his index finger.

 

 

“No thanks, I want to go home,” I just said. Why can’t I insert my key properly? Grr! So much panic!

 

“I want to talk to you about something,” his voice drop into serious tone which I rarely heard.

 

I was frozen to that and slowly calm myself, maybe I was just thinking so much. “About what?”

 

“About last night,”

 

 _Damn!_ “What about that?”

 

“Follow me,” he said then walks into his car. I watch him as he take on the driver’s seat and pulled his car out of the parking. I don’t know if I wanted to talk to him, I don’t know if I wanted to hear what is it that he wanted to talk with me. But deep in my heart I know that I wanted to end this torture. I wanted to hear his side and possibly get over this as soon as possible.

 

I follow him and we ended at the café which I’m not familiar with. I didn’t know that he comes to not so famous establishments like this. He motions me to follow him inside and I did. We walk on the end at the back of the establishment. This place is not so crowded like of those famous café let alone the Hard Rock Café which is my favorite place.

 

“What do you want?” he asks while reading the café’s menu.

 

“Anything you want,” I just replied.

 

He ordered two cups of coffee with cream. He likes it. He told me that it was a habit that he got from his dad which he hasn’t seen for decades now. He left them when we are in the middle school. It was the most painful moment for him. He loves his dad very much but it’s not enough for him to stay with them, that the reason why he hated him though he can’t change the fact that he got his dad’s look and his habit.

 

I was thoroughly examining his face. He always looks so fresh with his messy short cut white hair which complimented to his creamy white skin. His kissable lips that made every girl swoon, his perfectly sculpted nose, his soft cheeks and his dark blue eyes which turned to dark green at night or just my eyes teasing at me. He is simply dead drop gorgeous that even those models nowadays will die in jealousy to him.

 

He caught me looking at him and he just smiles at me as if telling me that I am free to drool over him. I smirk to that. He is always playful and lustful at the same time. I wonder how I ended up falling for him but looking at him alone, I did get my answer as fast as the lightning which strikes my heart also.

 

“So, what do you want to talk?” After the waitress walk away from us, I encourage myself to talk since this is what he wants at the first place that’s why he drag me here.

 

“About what happen last night,” which made me flinched a little. “You’re not sick, right? You just want to avoid seeing me,”

 

“I— I don’t, I was really sick,”

 

“Sick like?” he teases me.

 

“You know about it already, no need to ask.”

 

“Nah, you can tell me. Besides, you are still my best friend.”

 

I just nodded my head. So he didn’t think of me as one of his one night stand but rather his best friend after all. So sad because I can’t see him the way he sees me. _What a life!_

“Kurapika, I wanted us to be just like what we used to before that thing happens,”

 

 _That thing_ , I thought. Maybe we could but I know it’s not that easy thing to do. I wanted to say it; nevertheless, I still nodded to him. I don’t have choice but to nod anyway.

 

I sip my coffee silently. I can’t even raise my head to look at him. My heart aches like it was squeezed harder. I can’t breathe but I keep myself from falling down into pieces. I need to go back home and mend my broken heart especially now that I don’t have Gon by my side anymore to comfort me from this foolishness.

 

 “You know that— we should keep it to ourselves, right?” that thing again. Yeah, as if I’m proud being his one night stand.

 

“Yeah, don’t have to worry about it. I got it.” I said in my most cheerful tone and smile as if I won a goddamn lottery. He just nodded and smile to me.

 

“Anyway, heard about the party at Gon’s new apartment?”

 

“Yeah,”

 

“Are you coming?”

 

“No. He didn’t invite me, why should I come?” I can feel the panged of pain in my chest.

 

“Oh c’mon, he didn’t have to invite us personally. Once one of us gets the invitation that means all of us must come. As if you don’t know him,”

 

I nodded.

 

“So, you’re coming?”

 

“Nope, I wanted to rest. I’m not completely good, I need some more time to rest.” I reason out which is matter-of-fact.

 

He grinned, “I’m sorry,”

 

“It’s okay. It’s not your idea at the first place anyway,” I shrugged my shoulder to him and sip off my coffee to hide the embarrassment and calm myself at the same time.

 

He just smiles at me while he sips his coffee too. After we sip off our coffees, I bid my goodbye to him since he still needs to stay a little while and wait for his date. I was hurt when he mention about his date and god knows I wanted to kill whoever is that but knowing that I don’t have the right to do that, I’ll just sulk and shut my mouth. I need to put myself together and end this torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters to go. :)


	11. Chapter 11

I gave him one last smile before I seat on the driver’s seat and drove away from that place. First, I need to talk to Gon, say sorry if that is still possible and make up for the mess I’ve done. I dialed his number. Maybe he is in his ‘new’ apartment now preparing for his party which excludes me. My call was directly thrown away to his mailbox. This is kinda frustrating. I didn’t even know that he can act like a stupid girlfriend to his boyfriend.

 _I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry if I hurt or neglected you in any way that I don’t know. If you’re ready to talk to me, just let me know._ I texted him and click my phone off.

When I reach home, I saw mom and dad talking about something at the living room happily. Now I remember, they wanted me to take up law at the Hunters Association University. Mom graduated from that school. I wonder if that deal is still open for me and I might get the chance to get myself away from everything that will remind me of him.

“Hi,” I greeted them and sit in between them like I always do when I was young.

“What’s up kid?” dad mocks me.

“Dad,” I glare at him and as usual, he just laugh as if I’m not in front of him.

“So, what’s the matter son?”

“I wonder if I can still change school,” I said which makes my mom smile and my dad furrow his eyebrows.

“Of course you can,” my mom is clapping her hand happily.

“Kurapika, what’s with that? Huh?” he is the only person in the whole wide world who calls me in my name that can give me a Goosebumps.

“I just wanted to. I realize I need to, you know, change the environment for me to grow up,” I reason out. I know dad won’t bite it but I need to convince him if I wanted to make this chance work.

“Why?”

“Dad, I just wanted to change—”

“Fuck up!” he cut me.

“Dad, just let your son decide. It’s his future after all,” my mom get on my side.

“I know honey, but I don’t want to—”

“Oh, shut up.” Mom cut him and he just sighed in defeat. “When are you planning to transfer?”

“Is it possible if I transfer by next week?”

“Sure. I’ll talk to Atty. Netero.” She said then get up from the couch. She grabs her phone and waited for that someone to pick her call. She has lots of contacts to that school so I’ll never wonder how I should get to that school at 11th hour. We are just waiting for her news as if we are her patients waiting for the results of our medical tests.

“Pack your things kid, we’ll be leaving tomorrow.” She said while grinning from ear to ear.

“Thanks mom,” I give her a bone cracking hug and then a kiss in each of her cheek and run upstairs to pack my things.

“You are spoiling him as usual,” I heard my dad said and my mom just give him a hug for him to shut up while I just rolled my eyes to them still pacing back to my room upstairs.

I immediately grab my suitcase and started packing all my things. Every piece of my thing piled at the suitcase made my heart pound really hard. I know I have to do this, I know I want this but why did my heart tells me otherwise? I sighed when I saw that the two suitcases was already filled with my things and was lying on the floor. I wonder if they will miss me when I’m gone. I wonder if they will search for me if I wouldn’t contact them for long. I open my phone for the last time and type a message for everyone. Maybe, they won’t be missing me or tried to search for me but at least they know that I do care for them, that I am still thinking about them.

**_ALPHA BETA PHI:_ **

_Emperor Gon: “Dudes, party starts at 7 sharp with or without you XD”_

_Baby Canary: “Coming,”_

_King Pairo: “Is there any girls who could strip for us over there? Huh Gon?”_

_Melodious Melody: “Say no please, I’m sick of naked babes. HEHEHE”_

_Almighty Killua: “Can I invite my new girl in the party?”_

_Best Buddy Kite: “Please bring two, XD”_

_Leorio D’ Great: “I’m not coming then,”_

_King Pairo: “Someone is very loyal. LOL!”_

_Best Buddy Kite; Melodious Melody; Baby Canary: (send LIKE emoticons)_

_Emperor Gon: “Bring Neon, Leorio,”_

_Lord Hanzo: “He will and he must,”_

_Leorio D’ Great: “Yes big bro!”_

_Lord Hanzo: “What about you @Kurapika D’ Hunter? Are you coming?”_

_Me: “No, sorry.”_

_Leorio D’ Great: “Why is that? Are you still not feeling well Pika?”_

_Almighty Killua: “I can pick you up wifey,”_

_Me: “No thanks hubby, Leorio is right. I’m not feeling well.”_

_Best Buddy Kite: “Did you try to see a doctor Pika?”_

_Me: “No need, rest is enough. I guess. Besides, the queen doctor is in the house, so no need to worry.”_

_Queen Doctor is what I call my mom and they too called her that._

_Melodious Melody: “Yeah right, get well soon.”_

_Me: “Thanks :)”_

_Lord Hanzo: “Back to the girls, please no girls.”_

_Baby Canary: “The party will be boring then. There’s no one there to strip for us. LOL!”_

_Melodious Melody; Lord Hanzo;_

_Best Buddy Kite; Almighty Killua; King Pairo: “Send LIKE emoticons”_

 

They look ecstatic. Some more minutes and they were drawn to their topics, no one notice about me again. I continue to read every comments and every talk they made and the more I read the more my heart is bleeding in jealousy. No one tried to talk to me again even if they saw that I only seen their conversation. I am more of a ghost to them.

 

_“I will be missing all of you. Please take care of yourselves.”_

 

After I send it, I immediately deactivated my messenger. I open my Facebook, I click on the settings and without a second thought, and I deactivate it as well as my Instagram, Weibo and every app that they can contact me. I turn off my phone and lie on the bed and then decided to sleep. Hopefully when I open my eyes tomorrow everything will be okay. Everything will be forgotten. How I wish I could wake up with amnesia and forgot about everything that happens. I wipe away the tears that are rolling to my cheeks. This is the last time I will shed tears for this drama.

 

**********************

 

At around 8 in the morning when two of the maids come to my room and help me pack some more things before I left. They even cry and said that they will miss me which I only give them a smile. I gave my phone to Anna, the daughter of my nanny that passed away 5 years ago. Anna is a sweet country girl, pure and an amazing woman that I love like a sister I know I can never had. She is always there when I needed someone whom I can talk without judging me. She can be an over protective sister, a friend and an over loving mother at the same time that’s why I love her so much. After they loaded all my baggage at the trunk of my car, we immediately step on the limousine and drove to the airport.

The travel from here to the Hunter’s Association University's main campus will be three hours so I have lots of time to sleep my thoughts away and set my mind of my new environment. No best friends, no gang, no party and no girls. I just have to sleep and forget everything that happens from that day until today.


	12. Chapter 12

As we arrive at the airport we are assisted immediately to board the first class plane which my parents’ chooses for us for this flight. I’m happy that we are in this flight at least I can have my own private moment while I tend to my bleeding heart.

I open my iPod and inserted my headphone then place it on my ears. I’ll just sleep the hours away and face my new environment with open arms. I should be happy because I have already decided about my life in Razan City while I’m packing my things last night. I should calm and prepare myself to the new possibilities that Razan City can offer to me.

I hummed along with Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat’s “Lucky”. I know I won’t be as lucky as them but at least I did have opportunity to be with him for the last time and it’s enough. I guess. I couldn’t ask for more of him. I can’t have him. That’s the truth and truth slaps me like a bitch throwing her tantrums and it bleeds so badly.

The more I think of him, the more it hurts like hell. Killua. I can still feel his soft lips against mine as if it was just minute ago that I taste them. I can still feel his fingers running through my bare skin and lighted it into fire. The picture of him cumming with me was like a perfect taken picture which was engrave into every cells in my brain. I hate it. I hate feeling so empty. Empty without him constantly joking around, that constantly flirting with me as if he meant it, so empty without his fingers intertwined with mine when no one watches or his arms wrapped around my shoulder that so natural for him to do. Empty without his heated gaze, his smile that makes my knees go weak. I’m so damn empty without that fucking Killua Zoldeyck. Why it should be him? If I only fall for someone maybe life was better for me and not a doomed one.

Damn him!

 

\--------------------------

We landed in Razan City airport after three hours of travelling through plane. There’s already car waiting for us outside the airport so we started travelling again to the route where the Hunter Association University was located. I release a heavy breathing. Memories with my friends come rushing like water unable to control the volume. It made my heart heavy as I watch the airport from a distance. I choose this. I choose to escape from everything, from them instead of facing it, accepting the fact that he won’t be mine because we are friends. He may be like a star to me, unreachable, but he is also a part of my being that whatever I do, I can’t shake him away from me.

I clenched my fist into a ball. Squeeze it harder until my fingernails buried deep into the soft skin of my palm, tearing the tissues on the process, until I can feel the blood flowed from my wounded palm, until the crystal bead of tear fall from my eyes down to my chin. It was cold. It tastes like my heart from this moment. Bitter.

“Kurapika.” my dad called me gently as my mom squeezes my hand.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t hide it.” My Dad closed our distance. He wrapped his strong yet loving arms around me as I buried my head in my Dad’s chest while he was caressing my back, “It hurts.” I said and sob loudly. “Dad it hurts,”

I told them the reason why I wanted to transfer school so suddenly before we finally get into the plane and they understand me. They supported my decision to choose to step away from him and leave everything behind.

They both whisper caressing words into my ear. Soothing whatever pain I am feeling as I cry my heart out, hoping that after I drain my tears everything will be alright.

They both know I was gay because I told them when I was just 15. One year after that surprise birthday party Killua thrown for me. They are mad at first and they can’t accept it, thinking I’m just confused with it and that I am influenced with TV, media and all. But when I stand on my ground and told them that I am still the Kurapika they know, their son and most of all that I’m not really coming out of the closet because I wanted to just flirt and be with same sex just for the sake of having fun and experience what other gays experienced but because I want them to know that I am like this, that I was born this way and that it doesn’t matter who I become. I am still me.

They also both know how I feel towards Killua and that I have unrequited love towards him. They warn me at first because they know that this time will come and I’ll be hurt but I can’t just tell my heart to stop falling for him. Can't I? I just can’t stop my heart from longing him because he already owns my heart from the very first time he kisses me. I already give my heart to someone I cannot have even if in after life. They knew him since we were in diapers so they eventually accepted me and love me more than the day I was born. And eventually they let me.

“Everything will be alright.”

That was my Dad’s last words said to me and the last words I heard before I drifted off to sleep once more. Letting the darkness engulfing my whole being, carry me again into the oblivion, into the abyss where darkness is all I can have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> This is the end. Its kinda short. I don’t know. I just came up to this. Hahahaha! Sue me but I can’t really make it longer. So much for my happy ending! Ah~ ah~ ah~
> 
> So what will happen? What will the gang do when they realize that Kurapika was missing and that he won’t be coming back? What will Killua do when he finds out that he was the reason Kurapika was gone for good?

**Author's Note:**

> Please do understand that I am not an English speaking person so that it means there are grammatical errors here. Don’t kill me okay? XD


End file.
